I was in love with a friend of mine. I never told him about it. I don’t know if he knows about it… I think I made everything clear, I did everything I could except telling him. I know that would have been the ideal situation, but I was so scared, I wasn’t brave enough.
But this time, I’m sure of what I want. I’m gonna be free of these feelings, I’m giving everything I can to do it. It hurts. It hurts a lot. I’ve been in love, suffered because of it, but the feelings went away with time. Now I just can’t put up with this anymore and let time do its job, I’m the one to do it because I can’t suffer because of this any longer.
He didn’t do anything wrong… I just noticed he doesn’t care about me the way I wanted him to do. It’s not his fault, it’s entirely mine. So what, it still hurts a lot and I wanna be free to fall in love with someone else again. So I’m throwing those feelings away.
But the point is… Why does it hurt so much to do it? Why is there a part of me not wanting to give up on him? Is it because I just have this need to be in love with someone? Or is it because it’s simply very hard to give it away like this? Or.. Is this even possible?
I don’t know yet… But I know it’s over, don’t know how I’m gonna do it, but it’s gonna happen. I promise myself.